Thirsty Thursday Fail: Jeremiah Weed Malt Beverages

Rarely does Thirsty Thursday veer into the realm of malt beverages. However, I’ve been intrigued by Jeremiah Weed ever since they started their massive advertising campaign on ESPN earlier this year.  The commercials (one of which is below) naturally have nothing to do with this alcoholic beverage.  Instead they showcase arm wrestlers crushing empty cans or a competitive eating champion with a 100 pound burger (very “manly” things) both of which are accompanied by a catchy jingle and an announcer’s “words of wisdom.”  So after allowing myself to be brainwashed by brilliant marketing I was convinced that I needed to purchase all three Jeremiah Weeds and find out what this insanity was all about.  After all, real men wouldn’t be associated with overly sweet drinks, which were deficient in taste and body/mind numbing alcohol…right?

Wrong.  Jeremiah Weed is what it is…a sugary malt beverage that has been created to satisfy the palates of those who crave a sweeter adult libation with little to no complexity in taste (then again how complex can lemonade, tea, or cola be?).  The drinks have an interesting range of tastes that can best be described as decent to “why am I drinking this?”  But perhaps the most disappointing aspect of consuming Jeremiah Weed is that the malt beverages are only 5.8% alc.  Lacking the blissful kick of any well prepared mixed drink, Jeremiah Weed ends up tasting like a cheap overpriced sweet concoction from a bartender who confused your request for only a splash of coke with that of a splash of whiskey.

Not surprisingly the conclusion I came to after sampling all beverages was that they are only useful as a mixer…meaning, save your money and purchase a different adult libation.

And in the tradition of Thirsty Thursday here are my individual reviews: 

Lightening Lemonade
Not surprisingly this drink has the hazy look of lemonade. The taste is much like a syrupy lemonade mix with a slight amount of carbonation and zest of lemon (carbonation level and mouthfeel is similar to that of a Fanta soda). It does finish clean and is the most drinkable of all three Jeremiah Weeds.

Roadhouse Tea
This beverage is almost peach color in appearance and tastes similar to a sweetened spiced iced tea.  The sweetness gradually overwhelms the palate making the Roadhouse Tea optimally consumed as a mixer.

Spiked Cola
The least impressive of Jeremiah Weed’s assortment of malt beverages, the Spiked Cola looks exactly like cola when poured.  The taste is similar to a flat spiked RC Cola.  While this flavor profile is initially acceptable, it eventually becomes unpalatable…even when mixed with a distilled spirit.

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