Thirsty Thursday Fail: Adult Whipped Cream
Sometimes there are ideas that you come across and think: “That’s a stroke of genius and/or Why didn’t I come up with that?” This is how I felt back in December of 2010 upon hearing of the newest adult novelty product “Cream,” a flavored whipped cream infused with 15% alcohol.
The concept is so simplistic; combine whipped cream, an enticing flavor, and alcohol in an ready to use can. What could be wrong with that?
Unfortunately, due to the limited distribution of Cream, and its rival Whipped Lighting, I was unable to sample the wonders of alcohol infused cream out of a can until last December, when I stumbled upon a bountiful selection in Queens’ liquor store. Instantly forgotten was the scotch and bottles of fine wine I had planned to purchase at the store, as my mind contemplated which flavors of Cream to sample first.
Now before going any further, let me state that my fixation on this product rested not with an obsession over alcohol combined with whipped cream. Heck I can make some whipped cream and mix it with a spiced rum any day of the week. But Cream and Whipped Lightening are novelty products which many state government’s have blocked the distribution of. Bowing to human nature and wanting something that was forbidden where I currently reside, I was curious to find out what all the hubbub was about.
With the thought that the flavors of Orange and Raspberry might work best when attempting to pair an alcoholic whipped cream with a spirit or dessert, I purchased a can of each. However, much to my chagrin, I never reached the point of experimenting with Cream’s pairing potential.
Initial test tastes did nothing to make me feel better about the $24 that was spent obtaining two cans of Cream. The backbone of both the Orange and Raspberry was that of artificial flavors which uncomfortably coated the mouth with a most unnatural texture. The subtle essence of alcohol that was present in Cream did nothing to alleviate my thoughts that I had been duped into purchasing a synthetically processed poisonous creation of some evil marketing genius.
Why oh why didn't I simply dump copious amounts of alcohol into some homemade whipped cream? Photo By: Rhett Sutphin
The Orange was particularly offensive as it displayed a flavor reminiscent of plastic cement and those of you who have ever constructed model airplanes will know exactly what I’m speaking off.
A regrettably belated investigation of Cream’s label announced just how unnatural this adult whipped cream was as purchasers are discouraged from storing the cans in a refrigerator or cold place. Cream is best stored, used, and consumed at room temp. Reflecting back, I guess the fact that I purchased the cans of Cream from shelf display in front of a cash register should have been a strong warning of things to come.
To be fair, perhaps I purchased two cans that had prematurely expired, had been stored improperly, or simply selected the two worst flavors that Cream has to offer.
Then again perhaps Cream and Whipped Lightening are just another gimmicky product like Adult Chocolate Milk (click here for my review) that is more focused on first time and then repeat buyers. Either way at $12 bucks a can I’m not necessarily interested in finding out where the truth lies.
Grab a can to decide for yourself, but don’t be surprised if disappointment reigns supreme.
Copyright © sports-glutton.com, 2010-2012. All Rights Reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from sports-glutton.com is strictly prohibited.
That packaging on the Cream makes it look like you can also shave with it. I imagine once the contents expire it would be best not to use it for that purpose either…
Haha. I should have tried shaving with it. Perhaps I would have gotten more out of my money.
“[W]anting something forbidden…” The same reason there is a can of Four Loco (pre-caffeine ban) sitting in our fridge. I had one already. Yikes. I am hoping that aging the second one will mellow it out a bit.
Thanks for saving me from another bad, curiosity, impulse purchase.
I’ve missed out on the Four Loco so far, but have a feeling that I might be ready for lift-off or death if I have one.
Thanks for saving me $12! I like the idea of adding some Bailey’s to some fresh whipped cream though…
ummmmm Bailey’s and whipped cream. yes please.
Thanks, Jed, for testing these for us but I think I’ll take a pass on both. I’ll use the whipping cream to make cheese and take my liquor in a glass. We’re a simple folk in the Midwest.
Next time I’m sending you the testing kit. Cream was enough punishment for an entire year.
Okey dokey. no whipped cream for us then! I am one of the simple folk too, thanks for steering us clear!! c
I agree Cream isn’t worth too much. We can no longer find it after the one previously purchased well over a year ago here in Georgia. Perhaps it’s just not going over well here. So, when I got my can I decided on raspberry. It coated my mouth with a slimy residue and the flavor brought back childhood memories of flouride treatments at the dentist. Can’t say I’ll go back for seconds.
Funny but unfortunate…for you and the company.
Pheww…. I thought you were going to tell me the Pinnacle vodka (whipped cream flavor) that I have been enjoying was going to have some sort of strange side effect. I had never even heard of this stuff. Thanks for the warning. I’m sure if I had come across this product before reading this article I would’ve been curious to try it out. You just saved me $12.
Funny thing is that the company that makes Cream is based out of LA (I believe) and it’s not available in the state. No real loss though.
Well…I didn’t like the look of those cans. They looked like deodorant. I think I prefer my cream to be ‘just cream’ and then if I want to add something stronger, like when mixing a creamy cocktail, I can. I had never heard of this product and I don’t think it’s available here.
I hadn’t thought of that Charlie, but they do indeed look like deodorant cans. Too funny.
LOL…thanks for the warning! I’ll think I’ll pass, too. And like hotlyspiced, they look more like deodorant than anything you’d want to put in your mouth
I would probably also buy these to taste them because frankly it does sound very appetising of course before one reads your excellent review.
There is nothing worse than artificial and badly made aromas. It reminds me of an awful bottle of vodka witha fruit aroma. I would do better infusing pure vodka with fruit for a couple of days.
Anyway, I have never seen such a product here, but if I see I will keep far away.
Yes…infusing vodka is the why to go and I’ve heard that it makes the vodka happy too.
Love this post. How about a stroke of genius that I DID come up with? Pornaments. That’s right, cute little elvish characters doing it in various XXX ways while they dangle from your Douglas fir. Yep. Now the secret’s out so please cut me in when you mint your first million.
It could be a huge money maker. Million? More like Billion.
Thanks very much but a big NO for me. Your experience is enough for me. A container of whipping cream is just over a dollar and a drop of the best liquor is nothing to quibble about. Homemade turns out to still be the best way to go. Sorry about your twenty-four dollars but thanks for the review.
As long as I can spread the word, then it was money well spent.
Ingenious idea!!! The bottles really look like shower gel or something, and they are far too expensive.. I’ll try the homemade version though..
Have a nice weekend!
Thanks Eri…same to you!
What a total bummer, Jed. That doesn’t sound like clever marketing at all…such a shame. But then, is there room for a better tasting, real product? I have a cream dispenser my Mom brought me back from Hungary about 25 years ago. We used to mix raspberry syrup into it for a delicious dessert…I’m surprised no-one thought to add Irish Cream, for example. You can buy a similar product here: http://www.creamright.com/product/WCD-AM-300WH-AL.html
That is such a great idea Eva. I think that Liz and I might even have a dispenser in a box somewhere. Time to do some searching around.
Handy for ‘date-night” too!
Just reading your post put a nasty taste and feeling in my mouth. I’m sorry this idea is a fail though. So, so many uses if it had been decent.
Yes, it did have tremendous potential.
Oh, I so know that icky coated nasty taste you are talking about. Yuck! Sorry these didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped.
One must live and learn. Oh well!
YUCK! I was intrigued at first and thinking of 101 ways I could use these but thankfully you stopped me right in my tracks! Way to steer us clear Jed.
My pleasure…well sorta.
I’ll admit, this sounded a bit x-rated when I read the headline and then when I saw the containers. I’m simple folk here, too, and shall stick to my dash of Grand Marnier in my cream that I whip myself. But interesting post…and thanks for the warning!
I bought the Caramel flavor to top pumpkin pie with this Thanksgiving. WOW it is good. Although, a little disturbing that it doesn’t need to be kept cold, haha.
[...] Thirsty Thursday Fail: Adult Whipped Cream (sports-glutton.com) [...]
I thought initially it was some kind of lube, very bad product and packaging
I’m so glad you did the taste testing and not me!! I’ve heard of these and thought they were a great idea…and I know, as you mentioned, we could make it ourself but the thought of just opening the fridge and squirting a dollop out sounded good. I guess too good to be true! Guess I’ll continue flavoring my own whipped cream!!
Just by looking at the image, I actually thought this was shaving cream, but as I continued to read further, the fact that it had alcohol made me actually read even more. Listen, anything with liquor is worth marketing… the more unique, the better.
You should try the whipped lightning brand. It’s much better, made with real cream. I like it with coffee.