Monday Morning Humor

May 20, 2013 8 Comments

Monday Morning Humor Baseball Cards

*This edition of MMH is a joint collaboration between Jed Gray and Joseph Nardone

Remember when we were kids — assuming you are no longer — and the collection of baseball cards that we had? When we used to scour the local card shop to find the rookie card of our favorite player, you know, with our parents money. That time when you found that not-so-elusive Ken Griffey Jr. card, only later to discover that so many were produced the card would never be worth more than eleven-bucks?

Well, most of us have likely grown out of the baseball card collecting phase, focusing instead on collecting wine in bottle or boxed form.  It’s just another sign that we’re all getting older — and maybe, just maybe not aging as gracefully as we wished.

However, there is something that could comfort us in the aging process. Something to remind you there are poor souls that have had it worse than you. Mainly a select few professional baseball players from the 1980’s.

Like our High School Yearbooks, a baseball card is a time capsule that everyone but the person in it wants to see. So, let us feel better about ourselves by making fun of others…specifically the unfortunate souls on the following 80’s baseball cards:

Glenn Wilson Philadelphia Philles Baseball Card IMG_0484

On his days off Wilson, a Texas native, moonlighted as a hit man for the Philadelphia based Scarfo crime family.

Greg Gross Philadelphia Phillies Baseball Card IMG_0497

Spent his off-seasons teaching high school Biology in York, PA.

Pete Vuckovich Milwaukee Brewers Baseball Card IMG_0487

A pitcher in real life, Vuckovich ended up playing Clu Haywood in the movie Major League. Sometimes a mustache can make a dream come true.

Joe Nolan Baltimore Orioles Baseball Card 0499

Harold Ramis trying to parlay his Ghostbusting fame to baseball stardom.

Ron Kittle Cleveland Indians Baseball Card IMG_2048

Although the future accountant’s baseball career never amounted to much, Kittle became one of the most widely printed and discarded baseball cards of the 80’s.

Mike Brown Pitsburgh Pirates Baseball Card IMG_0481

During the infamous alien infestation of the mid-80’s, MLB was forced to call on certain members of the Men in Black. Brown batted .265 in his career as well as wiping out the memories of nearly a third of the people with his neuralyzer.

Willie Hernandez Detriot Tigers Baseball Card IMG_2047

Slick Willie…enough said.

Bob Jones Texas Rangers Baseball Card IMG_2046

Not pictured is a pack of cigarettes rolled up in his sleeve, a can of chew in his back pocket and some suntan lotion.

Jim Gantner Milwaukee Brewers Baseball Card IMG_0499

…and if you made it this far, please give us your caption for Mr. Jim Gantner:

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8 Responses to “Monday Morning Humor”

  1. The Mom Chef ~ Taking on Magazines One Recipe at a Time says:

    I made it that far but I don’t have anything regarding Jim. No idea who he is/was. Don’t remember the 80’s being so much about big glasses and bushy ‘staches, but I guess they were.

  2. Hotly Spiced says:

    Now…did you know we all got through our childhoods down here without being able to purchase baseball cards? And that we never, ever even played baseball? And we still thought we had good childhoods? I think the worst of the cards you’ve displayed has to be the one where the guy ended up in the movies. Like they say, ‘Only in America’ xx

  3. ChgoJohn says:

    I wouldn’t attempt a caption, Jed. You’ve set the bar pretty high. :)

  4. beerbecue says:

    Transition lens technology being in its infancy, and the photographer growing impatient, Jim had to have his picture taken at only 25 percent sweetness.

  5. Eva says:

    He looks like a consistent guy.

  6. Sportschump says:

    Love it. although I thought that was Mike Brown doing his best Kent Tekulve impression.

  7. Mets & Nats Make Me Sad - The Natty Dugout says:

    […] League. Haywood, played by former ballplayer Pete Vuckovich sported a pretty sweet mustache in his playing days too. I hope Espinosa comes to his senses and lets the season-defining facial statement come back […]

  8. DP says:

    Gartner often stared at his reflection in his glasses…Hence why his picture is backwards on that card.

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